dear hazel: 3 months



dear hazel,

this was a big month for you! it started with your 2 month shots, which were less traumatic for you than they were for me, and also included your first “vacation.” i use the term “vacation” loosely bc the word takes on a far less relaxing meaning now that you’re here. but that’s ok, we love having you along for the ride. you did really great on both flights, only fussing a couple times each ride. your dad and i were so thankful for awesome seat mates who were kind enough to switch seats and look the other way (without being asked) when i had to nurse you. nursing in public, especially on a crowded plane, is never easy and feels very unaccepted (people, we really need to change our attitude on this. i have to watch you eat, too. get over it.) but we did our best.

you got quite the tour of colorado, my love. you got to see the infamous red rocks amphitheater, which is completely, out of this world breathtaking. your dad and i will take you back some day to see a concert. deal?

back at home, things have been going pretty well! expect for the hours of 4-6pm. holy cow you aren’t a ton of fun, child. most nights we wait to see if your head will start spinning. between walks in your stroller and a certain, very specific way of holding you, we get through it by counting down the minutes until bath time. this phase is almost over, right? you also surprised us by sleeping through the night last night for the first time. you’ve been flirting for a while now, as you haven’t actually fed in the night for some time but you still wake me up a couple times for paci insert. i was planning to throw you into boot camp this week, but if you’re going to get there yourself, go right ahead, darling. here’s me crossing my fingers!

something big happened for our family this month! your dad finally opened smalley coffee! things have been going well and we can’t wait for you to grow up around our 2nd family business. i’m so proud of your dad for putting so much time, effort and money into making a long term dream come true.

i have seen a dramatic shift this month in my feelings toward you. hazel, i don’t want anything i’m about to say make you sad. i love you with all the love i have, know that. i wasn’t sure how i felt about being a mom when i first had you. it was a lot. life. change, stacked on top of change and this new person. my world was rocked, but i’m learning that you have rocked it in the best way possible. over the past month i have found myself actually excited when you wake from naps because we get to hang out. i have truly fallen in love with you. those smiles you flash me and when you stick your tongue out at me? oh my god they make all the lack of sleep and the feeling of being constantly overwhelmed totally worth it.

your current favorites are much of the same: baths (you can be full out psycho but when we turn on the bath, you instantly calm down. i’m trying to figure out how i can just keep you in the bath from 4-6pm every day), your play mat and its birds, singing (both to us and when we sing to you), stroller rides, swaddles (though i think their days are numbered), rompers (you are such hot baby in the afternoon/evenings), car rides and i won’t say it’s a favorite by any means, but you’re starting to warm up to tummy time. as long as i prop you up with the boppy.

you continue to grow and pork up. hazel, your rolls are out of control. at last count, you were 13lbs 6 oz and 23” long, which, according to my app, puts you in the 80th percentile for weight and 40th for height. woah. you’re at the top of your 0-3 month clothes but aren’t quite ready for your 3-6 month clothes.

as for me? i’ve had some moments of complete panic this month, if i’m being honest. i started shooting again and my first wedding is the weekend after next, so things are about to get real and i don’t feel ready. i can’t find a sitter for you, so it’s a source of constant stress over when i’m supposed to get my work done and holy cow, you should see our house. it’s.a.freaking.mess. but it’s ok. your grandma is a big help, as is your aunt anna. and as for the house? it will be clean again. one day.

we’re also coming off a growth spurt, i think. for many babies they just want to eat a lot, but you, my dear? you get FUSSY and don’t really care to eat. as you can imagine it’s frustrating on many parts. but like with most things, this too shall pass and i can already tell on the morning of your 3 month birthday, today is a better day.

most days, in some way, seem to be better than the last with you, my dear. at the end of this next month, your dad and i get to introduce you to the beach for the first time. words can’t explain how excited we are for that. i think everyone in this house needs a vacation. we’re not so excited about the drive to get there, so please be kind, baby!

until next month, i love you my little butternut.




more dear hazel posts can be found here. 


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