we commonly refer to dean as john locke, for obvious reasons that i don’t need to get into now. last weekend locke and i went up to our farm to check out the snow and he wanted to “see what kind of animals have tracked through.” allow me to set the stage:
3:13 p.m. we are on our way to the farm in dean’s jeep where he begins to LOAD HIS SHELL CASE WITH BULLETS (i may have been quoted as saying “sweet lord”).
3:15 p.m. we pull into the lane of the farm where dean proceeds to LOAD HIS SHOTGUN. nbd, i’m just sitting next to a LOADED RIFLE. as he sees me silently freaking he says, “it’s loaded, but the chamber is empty, ok? if we see a coyote, we won’t have much time.” who’s this “we” he keeps referring to? “here, look, see? it’s empty.” IT’S FINE, I DON’T WANT TO LOOK. PLEASE PUT THE SHOTGUN DOWN!