IX
dear hazel,
i can’t believe that yet another month has ticked away. i feel like i just finished your 6 month update! it sort of seems this month has marched along, status quo. the only major development is that you’re now sitting! finally! we have to watch because you still like to throw yourself back, but you’re getting so much better. still no movement on the crawling-front. come on, hazel! i almost forgot that you now shake your head “no”. and it.is.hilarious.
no idea on weight but i’d guess you’re at 20lbs. you’re wearing size 9 in carters and 6-12 month in anything else. your torso is SO long, babycakes. you can thank your dad for that! you’re wearing size 4 honest company diapers or size 3 target. no idea why honest’s run so small. we’re still cloth diapering 80% of the time! also, your feet are still so tiny.
you really really really love food. in fact, you really haven’t rejected anything we’ve given you! new additions this month have been pumpkin, mangoes, bananas (i held off giving them to you because i was scared they would constipate you), oatmeal and you had your first puff! you hated it. i’m ok with that.
i’ll be honest, this was a rough month for me. we discovered that i’ve got an issue with my breastmilk (too much lipase), which means that it starts breaking down faster than it should. all that to say that my freezer stash is ruined. i still haven’t brought myself to throw it away. i can’t stomach it yet. it’s hard for non-nursing mothers to understand how depressing issues with breastfeeding are. it seems like it should be easy…move on, throw it away, give formula. but it’s not that simple. it’s really hard to not feel like you failed at something you’ve spend so many hours thinking about, working toward, gritting your teeth through. it was the best, most rewarding battle.
for someone like your mom and dad who like to be able to leave you with grandparents so that we can have some adult time and also for wedding days when i’m gone for an entire day or weekend, this has been a really sad time for me. it also means that unless i want to sit and scald my milk every time i pump (it zapps a lot of the nutritional benefit of breast milk and let’s be honest. that’s a complete plain in the butt), we’re going to have to supplement with formula. i’m not anti formula, it’s just that you and i have overcome SO many obstacles when it comes to this “activity” that i’m mad it has to end so close to the 1 year mark. we almost made it! oh well. life goes on. we found a formula you will actually take and i feel good and less guilty about giving it to you because it’s organic and made to be closer to breast milk in terms of easy digestion. on a positive note, i’m excited for my every waking thought to NOT involve milk!
this month your naps have gotten so much better, even napping 1.5-2 hours consistently. wahoo! this working momma can’t tell you how important it is to my sanity to be able to have those blocks of time to get work done and sometimes even shower!
one thing your dad and i have noticed is that it seems the second you start doing something new and cute, you stop doing something you previously did. which means we’re maniacs about documenting things in the moment because we never know when it will be your last time. this month you seem to have stopped blowing raspberries (please start doing that again, it’s SO cute!) and this month you’ve become much more sober. “sober as a judge,” as your gg frannie, says. you still have moments of smiles and giggles but we have to work much harder for them. we’re thinking oncoming teeth may have something to do with that.
that brings me to something really interesting with parenting….you literally never know when will be the last time you do something. i wish i knew it would be my last time when i last breastfed you. i was probably rushed and was willing you to eat faster. it breaks my heart that that was probably my focus and not your little hand on my ribcage.
all this to remind me that time literally whizzes by and before you know it, another month has come and gone. i need to work on being in the moment and less worried about all the other riff raff and enjoy the good with the bad. easier said than done, sure.
this coming month will be a very busy one for us. you’ll learn that fall is my favorite but it means busy wedding weekends for mommy. september will see your first holiday world trip, your first IU game (!!), our first overnight away from you (we love you, but we’re very excited), and hopefully an apple orchard/pumpkin patch visit!
life with you is so much fun, hazel!
to the moon and back,
momma
