dear hazel: 12 months



dear hazel,

one year. 12 months. 365 days of hazel. that seems like both an eternity and hot minute at the same time. there were days i wasn’t sure i’d see the other side of, but baby….we made it.

i keep waiting to feel sad or weepy about your turning one, but i really haven’t crossed that bridge. i find that with each new, exciting stage i get more and more excited about what else is to come instead of mourning for the past. while i do miss your tiny tiny little body on which no clothes fit and your wrinkly little forehead, i do NOT miss all the nighttime wake ups, the nursing woes and your chronic reflux. you are such an extraordinary, beautiful, expressive, happy (most of the time), lovable little girl. your dad and i are truly lucky.

let’s see, what’s new this month? just after your birthday you popped another tooth (and are in the process of cutting 2 more)– your front left, bringing your total to 3! you also started (finally!!) at a babysitter. i’m so thankful for dana and her patience with you/me as we adjust to this new normal. you aren’t the easiest going child and we’re taking it day by day.

you (and i) have managed to have been sick since christmas so this month has been filled, literally, with prescriptions, more prescriptions, breathing treatments and nasal aspirators. i am SO ready for both of us to be healthy!

at your one year visit you weighed 20 lbs 12 oz and measured 31″ tall! that puts you in the 95th percentile for height. we can’t believe it! you’re still in size 4 diapers and size 18/24 or 2t (for pants) clothes. while the rest of you is so long, your feet….they’re short and so skinny. ugh. i am NOT looking forward to fitting you with shoes.

we had to take you down to evansville for an ultrasound on your hips/back to make sure no underlying issues are preventing you from crawling/pulling up. result? all clear and you’re likely just stubborn. shocker there. not. we start therapy as soon as first steps give us a call. we’re very hopeful that they’ll get you going. just in the past couple weeks we can see signs that you’re so close to trying to crawl.

this month you’ve also started to “hulk out” as your dad and i call it. it was brought on last night when your dad took away a blue corn chip from you. i mean full on, face turning magenta, eyes bulging. nothing gets between a premuda and their chips. nothing.

the transition to table food seems to ebb and flow. breakfast and usually lunch (especially for dana) are good but dinner is still usually a hot mess. it’s like something finally clicked with you and i couldn’t be happier. green beans (room temp) are your favorite along with anything crunchy/carby.

your number one love this month has to be music. any little beat or jingle (especially the theme song to “doc mcstuffins”) sends you into full on head bobbing, leg thumping (something new), and back thrusting. you’ve even started raising your hands to the sky for a real punch of emphasis. you had an entire mexican restaurant in stitches the other night.

we had your birthday party at the end of the month and it was so nice to have all your family together, including your premuda grandparents! you HATED the cake i slaved over. like HATED. but opening presents was the absolute most fun. ever. your over the top expressions were amazing. your favorite gift had to be a set of plastic cups your uncle andrew gave you.

hazel, i’ve learned lots of things this year, thanks to you. i’ve learned that: motherhood looks nothing like i thought it would (and that’s ok)…that the human body can function on astoundingly low amounts of sleep… that i married a truly solid, amazing man…it does, in fact, take a village…that i was an extremely selfish person, pre-you…that i may still be a little selfish…that baby giggles could create world peace…that the second you get something figured out with a baby, it changes and a new normal is to be adjusted to…that our life is truly sweeter with you in it.

hazel, i can’t wait to see what year 2 brings. we have lots to look forward to, including your 2nd trip to colorado this summer and for your grandpa dean’s retirement. while we (mostly me) cross bridges of extreme frustration, i have to remind myself that you’re likely feeling the same way. all i ask is that you have patience with me while i have patience with you. your dad and i love you to the moon and back and always will, no matter what.

happy first, of many, year(s)!












anna, i wish i had your height from which to shoot my clients. #shorty





and some random iphone photos from the month:







sources: chambray: gap//umbrella leggings: house of mia//moccasins: freshly picked//pink headband: olivia avenue//flower birthday crown: aleksandria grace//pink birthday top: beth carter, huntingburg//various birthday items (cake stand, “1” balloon, pinwheels, paper goods: shop sweet lulu


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